Last weekend I caught an episode of the Fifth Estate that touched on the subject of violence in video games, the companies that produce them and the parents who are stuck wondering what to do. Before I get into my thoughts on the “Top Gun” Fifth Estate episode, I’d like to provide a bit of background on my insight into this subject.

Gaming has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Over the years I’ve owned a Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Nintendo Game Boy, Nintendo Wii, Nintendo DS, Sega Genesis, Sony PlayStation’s 1,2 and 3, Sony PSP, Microsoft’s XBOX, XBOX 360 and an iPhone. I enjoyed gaming so much that I eventually worked my way through university to become a partner in a company that now focuses on gaming as a delivery platform for all kinds of experiences (sales and makerting, education, entertainment, etc.) Our company currently produces web-based games for both the public and private sectors and we are in the process of releasing our own online game for tweens. I’m not a child psychologist nor do I claim to have all the answers on this subject but I do have some thoughts nonetheless.

The “Top Gun” episode isn’t the first time gaming has been reported by the media. It seems like everyday there is a new story of parents crying foul over a specific video game they claim influenced their child to a) enter the family car in a street race (Need for Speed), b) shoot up a convenience store (insert a Rockstar game here) or c) start the kitchen on fire (Cooking Mama) – okay I’m being sarcastic with this one but can’t you see this happening at some point?

I will be the first to admit that the rating system is a bit out of whack and that my 12 year old nephew shouldn’t be “hoarding” in Gears of War 2 after he was able to freely rent the game from his local rental outlet. While gaming companies should take a more proactive role in producing alternate, family-friendly games (see Nintendo Wii), the responsibility for which a child should or shouldn’t play a game resides with the parent.

Granted, I don’t have a teen yet (and I’m a bit terrified at that prospect) but my 2 year old is already exposed to a myriad of games because of me. The games that my son is exposed to are all pre-screened and it’s a lot easier with a 2 year old than a 14+ year old, I’m sure. Having said that, the Fifth Estate episode really got me thinking about the way that I was exposed to video games and how I plan on helping my child through gaming, should this become his favorite pastime. After some reflection, here are a few tips for parents:

1) For the love of God, get the tv and gaming console out of your kids bedroom! As a kid, our consoles were in full view of my parents at all times.

2) Play a round or two of your kids game(s). I don’t see how this is any different that going to your kid’s hockey game, meeting the coach, parents, etc. If it’s “lame” for you to play with your teen then wait until they go to bed, create your own account, and build an understanding of the world in which your child participates.

3) The key is not to dismiss what your child is doing as “just goofing off” or “playing games.” To them this is as real as any other activity – sporting or other. This is serious business and as the report pointed out, you can make money playing these games (weather these pay-to-play tournaments are appropriate for younger children is a debate for another day).

4) Don’t discount the emotion involved. One of the gamers in the Fifth Estate report actually stated that when playing a violent video game he feels anger when he “shoots another player” and feels joy when he “gets more kills.” Using the hockey analogy, how is this any different than feeling angry when missing a wide open net or feeling a sense of jubilation after scoring the game clinching goal? The emotions involved in playing video games are real, don’t discount it as a stupid game and nothing more.

5) The era of ripping the cords out of the wall, hiding the games, yelling, screaming, etc. is over. Declaring that “I should have never bought that thing in the first place” is not the answer either. Instead try . . .

6) Channeling the interest into a legitimate career path. Try limiting the gaming by encouraging the knowledge of the gaming industry itself. Enroll your kid in a programming course or buy them some literature in the area of game mechanics, game theory, etc. (for example, see: The Ultimate Guide to Video Game Writing and Design).

The key to all of this is communication. Talk to your kids. Understand what they are doing and if they are really passionate about gaming, work with them to try to legitimize it into a career. Luckily my parents knew the importance of balance and encouraged me to take my love of gaming to the next level.